A near miss - we thought breastfeeding was over, but everything is ok now!

Earlier this month, I hit a barrage of hormonal issues. It's a long story, but suffice it to say that my nursing relationship with Rosie was in big trouble. I hadn't noticed how bad it was. The beauty of nursing is never having to wonder how many ounces... how much baby is getting. Babies are amazing self-regulators. And the breastfeeding relationship is perfectly symbiotic. Baby tells mom's body how much to make. That's all there it to it. But in rare cases, things don't work that way, and that's what happened to us. One day early in December, Rosie was clearly uncomfortable. She just wasn't right all day, and was crying a lot. She acted constipated, but wasn't. In the bath, she peed as usual, but her pee was bright yellow. Clearly she was dehydrated. How did this happen? That evening when I pumped, it was a dismal yield, and I knew then she hadn't been getting enough milk.

The situation declined for several days, so we began supplementing her feedings with my freezer stash. I had about 200 oz. in there, so I thought we'd be ok for awhile. The freezer emptied pretty fast. It wasn't long and we had to give her formula. Formula. I never thought any of that stuff would ever pass her lips. It wasn't in my plan. I was really sad.

The realization of just how bleak the situation was upset me a great deal. It was so bad, I didn't see that I could recover. Imagining losing this integral part of my relationship with her was like hearing a dear friend was dying. It was killing me inside. I cried a lot. I wasn't ready to give up.

Because of the milk supply issues, I had to pump often and Rosie had to get a bottle from either Leo or Libby, depending on the time of day. I wasn't even nursing at night. I immediately felt like I had lost part of my bond with her. It was really sad for me. I felt like she didn't know who I was. I don't know how to mother her if I can't nurse. I was really lost.

I was determined to turn it around. After I fixed my hormone issues, I worked my tail off to recover. I started pumping like a madwoman. Every 2 hours if I could. Once I started to see an improvement, I got Rosie back on the breast. I had to pump before every feeding for 2 minutes, nurse, and pump for another 15 minutes while Leo offered her a bottle. It took about 7 days once she was back on the breast to see a recovery... and when I did, it was sudden. One day I was supplementing about 25 ounces a day, and the next I was down to 5. The next: no supplements at all.
We are now supplement free! The formula was happily thrown out, and we are fully recovered. Overall the entire ordeal was 20-some days. I’m glad it is over because it was awful.

Not that I didn't before, but I now truly appreciate every second that I am fortunate enough to be a breastfeeding mom. I never fully understood the beauty of this relationship until I experienced it myself. It is an amazing feeling, to do something for your child that no one else can. And breast milk is so nutritionally perfect in every way. But it's more than just nutrition. Nursing is our "off" button. Nothing calms her faster, makes her sleep easier, or soothes her so happily. She loves it and so do I. I'm a happy mom.