the belly cast

Remember that funky belly cast Heather did for me when I was pregnant? Here's a refresher:


Well, I finally finished making it pretty, and here is the completed product! The design is dedicated to Rosie's penchant for kicking... and kicking... and kicking... and kicking...


To do a belly cast, first you have to get pregnant. This is done by.... hahaha just kidding. Once you are pregnant and quite huge, it's time to immortalize your giant belly that serves as a home to that little creature who will soon turn your world completely upside down.

You may consider doing other "casts". Casts I do not recommend include:

• The Fankle Cast
  
• The Thigh Cast
  
• The Swollen Face Cast

Once you decide you want a lifetime reminder of your hugeness, you slather yourself with vasoline. Well, just your belly and your boobs. Then you get a friend - a really good friend who won't laugh their ass off - to place wet, slimy strands of plaster-covered paper all over you. Then you sit and get really cold while it dries.

After you remove the cast and clean up the huge mess you made because there is plaster everywhere, you let the belly cast dry. You let it dry for approximately five months because the belly's resident completely takes over your life and leaves very little time for decorating immortalized bellies. Go ahead and leave it laying in your dining room floor, and step over it for five months every single time you walk by, serving as a reminder of this unfinished task.

After five months of drying, you sand it and sand it and sand it with your husband's powersander. You may sand it more than necessary because you are so darn proud of the fact that you are using a powersander.

Then you paint it with artists gesso. If you don't know what that is, you'll have to look it up. I did.

Then you steal the colors from your child's room's wall. Sponge a bunch of paint on it and let it dry. If you want to put feet on it like I did, you first need to give birth to the child. After you take care of that, you'll need to make sure you take the footprints. Make some copies and glue them on. Then cut out some foil hearts - one for each month you were pregnant (that's 10 for all you novices. 10!). Then you spray with shiny stuff. And you spray it, and you spray it, and you spray it, and voila! you have a pretty decoration that your daughter will someday think is the cheesiest thing she's ever seen.